You may have picked up on this already but I really like lists. In a recent conversation with some of my expat friends we discussed our favorite things about living here (there are so many!) and got stuck talking about "dining out." Behold-
I love it when I am eating out in Dili and...
1. ...what is brought to me is the same thing as what was on the menu and what I ordered. Last week I ordered a ham, cheese and tomato sandwich. It was on the menu therefore I assumed available for purchase and consumption. However, when my "sandwich" arrived, I was given 2 pieces of toast. I told her it wasn't what I ordered and when I pointed to the sandwich on the same menu I ordered from a mere 38 minutes before, she replied "don't have." Could she not have let me know that then?
Apparently when restaurants are out of ingredients they don't feel the need to tell you until they bring the ingredients they do have under the guise of "your meal" regardless of whether or not you want the food in that state. I did eat about 40% of the "sandwich" and no it wasn't good.
Another time I ordered a papaya chicken salad that should have included- wait for it- papaya and chicken- as well as peppers and tomatoes. It was not only missing its namesake ingredients but also the peppers. They did add some sliced onion (substitution is never the norm so this was a real treat) but who wants that as a stand in? I was still charged full price as their chicken was local and organic and the papayas were imported from Australia.
2. ...what I order as a repeat customer is the same thing as what was on the menu, and how I remember it based on the first time I ordered it. When you find something good that doesn't make you sick you like to stick with it. I'm an adventurous eater (I'll try anything once) but merely eating out has become the adventure as we all play the "my body didn't react violently to what I ingested approximately 4 hours ago!" game. So I stick with things I have tried before or seem least likely to make me sick. However just because you thought you ordered ramen with chicken and vegetables like you did "last time," doesn't mean you won't get shrimp with rice even if you point to the same #33 special with the picture of the chicken.
3. ... the food is prepared in the same way as it is in every other part of the world. I ordered gazpacho the other night which is (every other time I have eaten it everywhere else in the world) a savory cold soup made from a combination of pureed and diced vegetables. The perfect meal for enduring another ridiculously hot day. I was presented with a very sweet tomato and pepper foamy version served to me in a margarita glass. Inedible. If only the rim were salted...
4. ...my food comes at the same time as the rest of the diners at my table. Almost every single time I eat out regardless of the size of the party- be it 2 people or 10- the food never comes out at once. Eating in "shifts" is encouraged at most places because this happens everywhere.
A few weeks ago we waited 40 minutes for my friend's food to come out (she ordered a very complicated 3 ingredient salad) so we could actually eat together. You know- because that's the entire purpose of going out to dinner. In an environment that is so focused on family togetherness I am continually perplexed that this doesn't make sense to more people who work at restaurants. I'm going to start a revolution and start to ask that all the food be brought together. Ask me in 2 years how that's going.
5. ... there are no animal fights near, on or under your table. Inevitably you will see a dog or cat fight because there are so many that are homeless and hungry. It's very sad.
As most restaurants are open air these little creatures are often lurking in the shadows waiting for every grain of rice to drop. While enjoying some Thai food at a lovely beach side cafe, a 2-cat fight ended up using my friends lap as a springboard to hurl themselves over our table and continue their fight over a rat they caught in the kitchen (also open air). It startled us but we are seasoned expats and don't let these small nuisances affect us. We chuckled, sat back down, poured more wine and continued on waiting for 6 other people's meals.
6. ...when the number of waitstaff in an open kitchen outnumber the number of diners over 5x over and you still wait an hour for your meal. Back in the days of cooking without electricity over an open fire I can understand how a meal could take time to prepare. Hours, even. But when there is a western kitchen well equipped with an oven and a (6 burner!) stove visible to the public that has 8 "staff" people standing around and all I ordered were eggs on some toast and I have to wait 52 minutes for that and it turns out you used powdered egg mix anyway, I am not thrilled. The word hustle does not exist in tetum.
I love it when I am eating out in Dili and...
1. ...what is brought to me is the same thing as what was on the menu and what I ordered. Last week I ordered a ham, cheese and tomato sandwich. It was on the menu therefore I assumed available for purchase and consumption. However, when my "sandwich" arrived, I was given 2 pieces of toast. I told her it wasn't what I ordered and when I pointed to the sandwich on the same menu I ordered from a mere 38 minutes before, she replied "don't have." Could she not have let me know that then?
Apparently when restaurants are out of ingredients they don't feel the need to tell you until they bring the ingredients they do have under the guise of "your meal" regardless of whether or not you want the food in that state. I did eat about 40% of the "sandwich" and no it wasn't good.
Another time I ordered a papaya chicken salad that should have included- wait for it- papaya and chicken- as well as peppers and tomatoes. It was not only missing its namesake ingredients but also the peppers. They did add some sliced onion (substitution is never the norm so this was a real treat) but who wants that as a stand in? I was still charged full price as their chicken was local and organic and the papayas were imported from Australia.
2. ...what I order as a repeat customer is the same thing as what was on the menu, and how I remember it based on the first time I ordered it. When you find something good that doesn't make you sick you like to stick with it. I'm an adventurous eater (I'll try anything once) but merely eating out has become the adventure as we all play the "my body didn't react violently to what I ingested approximately 4 hours ago!" game. So I stick with things I have tried before or seem least likely to make me sick. However just because you thought you ordered ramen with chicken and vegetables like you did "last time," doesn't mean you won't get shrimp with rice even if you point to the same #33 special with the picture of the chicken.
3. ... the food is prepared in the same way as it is in every other part of the world. I ordered gazpacho the other night which is (every other time I have eaten it everywhere else in the world) a savory cold soup made from a combination of pureed and diced vegetables. The perfect meal for enduring another ridiculously hot day. I was presented with a very sweet tomato and pepper foamy version served to me in a margarita glass. Inedible. If only the rim were salted...
4. ...my food comes at the same time as the rest of the diners at my table. Almost every single time I eat out regardless of the size of the party- be it 2 people or 10- the food never comes out at once. Eating in "shifts" is encouraged at most places because this happens everywhere.
A few weeks ago we waited 40 minutes for my friend's food to come out (she ordered a very complicated 3 ingredient salad) so we could actually eat together. You know- because that's the entire purpose of going out to dinner. In an environment that is so focused on family togetherness I am continually perplexed that this doesn't make sense to more people who work at restaurants. I'm going to start a revolution and start to ask that all the food be brought together. Ask me in 2 years how that's going.
5. ... there are no animal fights near, on or under your table. Inevitably you will see a dog or cat fight because there are so many that are homeless and hungry. It's very sad.
As most restaurants are open air these little creatures are often lurking in the shadows waiting for every grain of rice to drop. While enjoying some Thai food at a lovely beach side cafe, a 2-cat fight ended up using my friends lap as a springboard to hurl themselves over our table and continue their fight over a rat they caught in the kitchen (also open air). It startled us but we are seasoned expats and don't let these small nuisances affect us. We chuckled, sat back down, poured more wine and continued on waiting for 6 other people's meals.
6. ...when the number of waitstaff in an open kitchen outnumber the number of diners over 5x over and you still wait an hour for your meal. Back in the days of cooking without electricity over an open fire I can understand how a meal could take time to prepare. Hours, even. But when there is a western kitchen well equipped with an oven and a (6 burner!) stove visible to the public that has 8 "staff" people standing around and all I ordered were eggs on some toast and I have to wait 52 minutes for that and it turns out you used powdered egg mix anyway, I am not thrilled. The word hustle does not exist in tetum.
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